Fake News: Kiss You Where It Hurts
Title: Kiss You Where It Hurts
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: R
Warnings: Established (and unsavory) BDSM relationship; partial nudity; dubious consent issues; pain, suffering.
Disclaimer: Two.

For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.

And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.

Summary: This is the really really depressing version of how character!Stephen hurt his face. Or, rather, it's the story of what happens afterwards, when Jon figures it out.

There's even an illustration, just to break your hearts a bit more. (Here on DA.)

( 'Some people like it a lot worse, you know.' )