Fake News: Expecting, Chapter 5
Title: Expecting, Chapter 5: Do You Hear What I Hear?
Series: The Colbert Report
Rating: G for this part
Words: ~1700
Disclaimer: Two.

For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.

And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.

Notes: Hold on to that premature Christmas spirit, because it's the big day itself. (The Star Wars holiday special has not officially been released on DVD, and with good reason.)

For the full table of contents to this story, click here.




(Stephen starts his Christmas all alone, except for a three-month-old embryo. Things can't get much worse, so they start getting better. )